Well, Its been 13 weeks since my husband broke his leg. Oh wait, what? Just 3 weeks!?? *&%$ BBLLLEEEEEEEEEP !!!^%$* I mean, Oh it seem like its been a little longer..ahem.. He is doing as well as can be expected. He is supposed to keep his foot elevated above his heart 24 hours a day. You do what you can. Surgery was loooong and they did 12 screws and a big plate. We went back today for a new cast given my husband had a panic attack last night and box cut his own cast off! Soooo many things wrong with that I'm glad I slept through it. On top of all this while waiting to see if my husband survived surgery last Monday (dramatic I know) I lose my NookColor. I have a horrible suspicion that someone stole it. Come on! Can a girl get a break. Since then I have realized I may have left my 300 dollar haircutting shears in Nashville. Someone is cutting hair with great scissors and booking their appts on my Nook! GGGRRRRR!
One nice little thing was celebrating our son Magnus' 3rd birthday! What a sweet boy.. We held his birthday at a creek and had ice cream, what fun! You know whats even more fun than that? Getting a TICKET on the way to your sons birthday party. With your husbands broken leg up in the window and kids yelling in the back. Super. Top this off with the fact that this child keeps telling me he's going to die for Jesus, I might lose my mind..I sure do love that boy :)
After trying to play interference with Zac's leg and the kids I decided to take a trip to Arkansas. Because what sounds better than 6 hours in the car with your kids by yourself? And we're off! I honestly never knew kids really asked "Are we there yet?" But indeed, Magnus has that phrase down. And Im pretty sure Moses was saying that too although I couldnt tell over his shrill screams and sounds of him throwing his paci and snuggle into places completly out of my reach.
Arkansas was wonderful and time with a good friend is priceless in its healing qualities but alas, we had to return, because I had work that night and school on Monday. Wahoooo!!
Today was especially stressful with Zacs new cast, no sleep last night, and an ongoing all out telephone brawl between me and Laclede Gas. Needless to say by lunch I was already exhausted. So, Im unloading diapers, gallons of milk and etc. into the house. I set Moses in the door and continue on. I come in and look down. He is splashing, drinking and playing in a huge hospital urinal of my husbands PEE!! OH. MY. WORD. I could barely contain the jumping and screaming, but they were the only things keeping the vomit down! What in the world is going on here!? I had to google a bunch of inspirational quotes to keep me going. Oy.
What a couple of weeks to say the very least. Funny thing is, didn't this all start out with our little mini-vacation? Didn't you all promise me everything would be great? Im never leaving my children again :)
Honestly I can't complain beyond the funnies. In reality, my life is peaches compared to others. I have a wonderful husband although one legged. And great kids, although one is a self predicted future martyr and the other has a morbid fascination with urine and urine receptacles. Ah..the stories I will tell their wives. Muhahahha.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Okay so here it is. We are back from our mini vacation of love. And yes, one of us has a broken ankle. Please don't be the 27th person to ask us if he broke it while having wild vacation sex. We are soooo not that cool. We are the type of people who break bones while jumping off our hotel bed and taking pictures all the while laughing hysterically. Fully clothed.
I'm going to fill you in on the past week, but I'm going to do so in a messy, non paragraphed, or maybe not even full sentenced kind of way. I'm far too tired, emotional, and hormonal to try and comprise anything that actually makes sense. Sounds awesome right? Here goes..
Nashville. Great food, fun, company. Lots of sleep, hand holding, movie watching and quiet time in the car. I was extremely proud of myself for not even crying once. Even though I did ask to come home a day early. Oh wait, crap. I did cry at the Grand Ole Opry. I'm such a sucker, I mean they sang Amazing Grace. It was beautiful. I ate so much that any hope of seeing my ABs in the next 6 weeks is gone. But you know what? The fried pickles. Worth. It.
Last Sunday Night, imagine this. Getting dolled up and ready to put the smack down on a seafood dinner for our last nighton vacation. Enter stage right, me, deciding to jump on the bed. Lets take pictures. Okay, now do the splits. Zac your turn. Zac- "AHhhhhh!! I broke my leg. I'm not kidding". Me-"What?" *runs two complete circles around hotel room*, calls 911, hangs up and calls again.
Skip ahead to today. Zac is getting surgery on Monday and will be out for no kidding, like 4 months. Any one remember Adam Sandler singing "Somebody KILL me Pleeeaaasee" The kids I can only describe as alien children since our arrival back home. They do stop crying every once and a while to yell "NO" or throw something. Did I really ask to come home early!?
The week after vacation has to be the weirdest and most annoying week ever! Shouldn't there be a buffer zone or something before you re enter reality? I mean, after I ripped out the back of my favorite capris yesterday and spent 250 on school books, I was about to sneak one of my husbands pain pills and call it a night.
The Bad- Husband broke ankle, kids are insane!, we are never moving out of our inlaws, money is tiiiiiight, and am I actually gaining weight?
The Good- I have a husband, he has an ankle, We have kids, We have amazing parents, God provides all the money we NEED, and who cares about my size 10 butt?...
I cant even wait to share the stories of the next 10 weeks of post surgery madness. The fact that Zac is one of the most dangerous men I have EVER seen on crutches will aid in the comedy of my entries. Things he has tripped on already.. Ragady Ann, Andy, a toy syringe, a door frame..
Thank you for all your prayers, truly.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
So, yes. Today we leave on our "Mommy and Daddy Weekend". I've done every ones laundry and changed bed sheets, Stocked the house on food and diapers as if we were leaving for a month, Wrote a 6 page list of instructions and drew a diagram of the kid's clothing dresser labeling the contents.
Next on the list, finish my quest for a vacation only bikini to get my tan on. I asked the boys to accompany me to Target in promise of a "Mommy will miss you present". It worked. I got a good 15 minutes in the dressing room trying on strings that resembled a swimsuit when put together properly.
I asked for Magnus' approval of the first which he replied, "You look naked". Perfect. Swimsuit, Check.
While trying to assemble the strings in their proper places Magnus informed me he had to go potty. I am seriously still 3-4 minutes from getting this suit put together and he is looking worried. As he starts the well known potty shiver I rush to the diaper bag, dump the cheezits, and allow him to urinate in my snack cup. Yes, then I replaced the lid and put it in the cart only to have Moses attempt to open it at least four times throughout the trip. My biggest concern was forgetting it in the cart and leaving it for some other unsuspecting mother. Remind me to write tupperware to thank them for indeed, having a waterproof seal :)
So I am armed with a string bikini and a snack cup full of pee. Add a Starbucks Venti Chai Tea Latte and things couldn't get better..
Well, I'm on to packing, cleaning, organizing and trying to control my involuntary nervous IBS this trip has brought on. I guess that will only aid in how I look in my bikini right? TMI? I think not :)
Thanks for reading! Please pray for a safe trip, healthy children and a peacefully at ease momma.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
So I have really been trying to take in this last week before our mommy and daddy vacation. Spending lots of quality time with the boys and trying to well, you know, not yell at them.
It's going rather well. I had to do a TON of errands and running around today and they were serious troopers. And all it cost me was a lunch at Sonic and a clearance Iron Man Repulser Blaster for $1.47. I win.
First up was picking out shoes for our Daddy. We normally try and stay on a very reasonable shoe budget. But his feet are killing him standing all day at work and well, we think he deserves the best. Right Boys?! So we picked some awesome ones with lime green. Much to Magnus' excitement. After the boys tried on about 11 pairs of right foot mens shoes. We left DSW just the way we found it :) he he.. ( I figure we paid a pretty penny for the shoes, they can spend a couple minutes of match the random shoes to the boxes)
Target for contact retrieval, pay car payments, deposit moolah, grub at Sonic and try to survive the car wash with Magnus yelling "when are the squids coming?", Moses screaming in fear while I sing "It's raining its pouring". Good thing that only lasts 2 minutes. Zac informed me he was mortified of the car wash when he was younger..Moses is his daddy's boy.
A nice lunch with dad and then some seriously fun mommy and boys playtime. Magnus was tickling my back, then he stopped and looked at me and said, "I used to have have to save up for my games, now I don't. This is MUCH cheaper" Which is a direct quote for a gaming infomercial. I seriously could have died laughing. He is sooo cute. And Moses can now get out a phrase that sounds pretty darn close to I love you. Needless to say I will be hanging on all this sweet stuff while we are away this weekend.
Oh, yeah. Did I mention we leave in like TWO days! Sooo excited! I'm trying really hard to contain my anxiety of leaving the munchkins. Aside from trying to set up video chat on my phone, packing clothes that smell like them, and installing the nanny cam in the teddy bear, I feel like I'm doing a really good job.
On to BIGGER things. Have I mentioned that my Ab quest if failing miserably? Yeah, PF changs free lettuce wraps, Twice. Movies with popcorn, Twice. Baking with all my fresh Zucchini aaaand chocolate chips. Pair that all with lots of staying inside to beat the heat equals epic fail. But like they say, tomorrow is another day! Good thing I don't have to pick up any guys on this vacation. Got me a hottie who loves my belly anywho..